BENSON & HEDGES GOLD

Lordy me what a week! I'm not sure if any of you are aware of one of the biggest skeletons in the Gold closet - but my Aunt Rose had a fling with a bandaid-on-the-bridge-of-glasses bloke at the Maryborough *yawns* Orienteering Festival in 1993. She fell pregnant in the ditch near the horse jumps at the Showground & 37 weeks later gave birth to fraternal twins who she adopted out to a nice couple who ran the local landromat & were obsessed with two things - tennis & smoking. Those kids were raised at the foot of an industrial Whirlpool by jingo & were duly christened Benson & Hedges Gold. Classy huh?

Well - are you in for a treat! I recently connected with them. I KNOW! They're my cousins & I always love meeting new ones. I think I'm up to 34 (if you count half cousins - slash uncles)...but I digress - they've agreed to do an INTERPRETIVE DARNCE section as a segment in my DENISE'S MONTHLY VARIETY SHOW at the Queen's Wharf Brewery & TODAY is the day we're meeting with my choreographer. They might not look too bright in this picture taken at the Civic Landrette here in Newcastle (they always return to laundromats wherever they are...they say it soothes them) but once I get the red cordial into them they go OFF LIKE A FROG IN A SOCK. Too bad they're still obsessed with whiter than whites (thanks to their adoptive mother's tennis addiction) but by the time they hit the dance floor at the Brewery I promise you Miss Sandra my costumier will have tarted them up & returned them to the Gold Fold where they belong. 

See you May 7th at 7.30pm Dollies. I'll be the one in the floor length gold gown & sparkly gold stilettos. 

Love, sprinkler arms & body rolls

Deniiiiiiiiise xox