CHERRY HAS MADE CONTACT!

I sent Cherry some psychic data this week...she's been AWOL in the Golden Triangle & well, her adventurous spirit aside...things were not looking good in the communication stakes.

I 'brainwaved' to her that Flash & I were moving to the TOP SHELF & needed some input re cocktail recipes.

Here's what she said...

"Dear Denise, here is what my cocktail should look like;

Fluffy on top, looks tasty in the middle with a bit of 'greasy Holden'  

down the bottom. I'm thinking in the lower stream - kahlua & black sambucca  

(mixed to the consistency of a Castrol product), topped with kirsch (of  

course- cough mixture will do though), advocaat and half a can of Tab.  

Top with 'kream in a can' and a glacé cherry! Mmmmmmmm."

I do fear that Cherry has become victim to a Stockholm Syndrome cartel, but really...do I give a Golden Nugget?"

Cherry - if you're reading this COME HOME - keloid scars have never scared me!

xo

Your Boss(y)

PLEASE HELP EL DOPIO

Word here is that an imposter going by the name of Denise Gold is masquerading as a coffee bean! And just who the HELL is Dopio?

Coffeegeek Forums

Denise's law team is behind closed gold bedazzled curtains discussing the finer points of tamping & extraction...they have heavy tomes on the table on IP & are ready to litigate!

Ms Gold has long been striving to be an ambassador for the Hunter's own RIVER ROAST team (gold, silver & bronze medal winners ) so this new association has caused quite a ruckus in the Golden Section of DGI.

Just how smooth is Denise Gold?

And creamy?

You decide...

One thing's for sure - you have a cup O'Denise every morning & your heart will be racing!

Written on behalf of MDG by the Golden Legal Eagle Team. Edited by Flash Barry - spellchecked, rewritten, linguistically analysed & posted by Cherry B. Holden via the Golden Triangle internet server.

SELLING LIKE GOLD CAKES

Denise opened up a veritable STAMPEDE this morning offering the merch they can't move for love or money...I mean, the glorious merchandise in the DGI range that is literally growing legs & walking out the door - giving YOU the Golden Opportunity to buy up BIG in preparation for birthdays, divorce celebrations, christenings & amputation recovery parties.

Only 89 boxes of quality factory-made items remain my friends!

What does a Denise Gold product say to the recipient when they open up your lovingly wrapped present? It says you are worth every penny spent in the DGI catalogue (yes folks, some of the items are almost antique, heralding from pre-decimal currency!) It also tells the lucky soul that you are prepared to spend your hard earned cash on something that is beautiful, fanciful, luxurious & virtually unusable..yes...

If you want to send a REAL message to somebody - send them a GOLD GIFT!

Operators waiting by the 'phones now...

Yours,

Conveyor Belt Operator,

Gulag 1, South Granville

GOLDMINERS

Breaking wind...I mean NEWS here at DGI is that Denise (surely not!) Gold has JUST been spotted skipping across Maitland Road, Islington with a CONSIDERABLY younger man...our sources reveal he is the one and only Ultra Swinging Lounge lizard Daniel Stoddart.

What ARE he & Denise up to?

Why ARE they wearing head torches?

What is DENISE UP TO NOW?

Or are they GOING DOWN?

Stay tuned for more information on the Cougar & her Cub as they re-enact Orpheus of the Underworld...or...are they at Storage Solutions?

Signed,

A concerned bystander.

GOLDEN TUMBLEWEEDS

Notthing of any consequrence whatsoever iss happening here at GGoldlands today.

Densie ios resting in the jacuxzzi with her academic text OK! & Cherry is wqashing her leopardprint doona cover.

Looks like a pedrfect washing day...

DGI secretary extraordinnaire,

Anon.

PS Flash Barry! If you are going to make notes on Denise's web with your nine & a half fingers the least you can do is proof read the bloody script! Please see me in the laundry immediately, Cherry.